I am a very self-sufficient person.  I don’t like asking for help. I like to work things out myself.  I ignore instructions, (particularly for flat-packed furniture and appliances).  I find the instructions boring and poorly explained, and I inadvertently end up spending more time working it out, and usually, I succumb to grabbing the instructions, if at that point I can still find them!

I am re-reading my paragraph and I don’t think any of that makes me self-sufficient, but potentially a lot of other things!  Stories for another time…

Over the last few weeks, I have had to deal with the internal conflict of needing to ask for help.  I needed some mentoring on a particular topic.  I have wrestled with this for a few weeks. 

“Do I.  Don’t I?”

“Can I work it out?”

“Oh look I can!” 

“Oh no I can’t”

This went on and on.  Back and forth, back and forth.  My thought processes felt like a game of tennis that I was playing on my own (I know, not possible, but you get my drift). 

Until I thought of the person that could help me.

Once that person came to mind, I reached out without hesitation.

And soon after my call, I felt more relaxed.  I had a plan on how I could get the support I needed.  I no longer felt that internal tension.  The person even complimented me for reaching out and investing in my own development.

The outcome is that I feel more at ease, I get assistance on what I need and my clients also receive the benefit of me investing in my development.

I could have continued with my typical mantra of nutting it out myself, but that would not have served me well at all in this instance (in fact in most instances).

When you need help, reach out.  Even if you are an expert in your field, a leader, or if like me you think you just ought to know it. The reality is we can’t know everything. 

When we are curious to learn, to deepen our understanding, and to share our vulnerability around not knowing, we get better outcomes and so does everyone around us. 

Rita Cincotta writes, mentors, and speaks on individual and team performance, leadership development, resilience, and new ways of working. She works with organisations to develop human centred solutions that help people and businesses to thrive.