Empathy. We all know we need to demonstrate it. We call it out as being important. Some organisations have it in their values, behaviours and capability frameworks. But what does it look like in leadership?
Organisations that focus on empathy have stronger collaboration, deeper trust, more quality relationships and increased psychological safety. When empathy is abundant there is a deeper desire to seek to understand. We care more deeply about people, their needs, their challenges, and how we can support them.
In leadership, empathy is about care, support, and understanding another person’s perspective in a more profound way. It is underpinned by gentle curiosity. This frame is useful in the context of leadership, because before one can feel and demonstrate empathy for the position another person may be in, it is useful to be curious, as this will generate questions and keep the mind open to learning more. Empathy limits initial and quick judgements and helps us to view the situation from one or more alternative perspectives.
Empathy Mapping
One way to help us be more empathetic is to engage in empathy mapping. Below is my version of the empathy map and how it can be used in leadership.
The use of empathy mapping originates in design thinking. It is also leveraged heavily in marketing. It’s primary use is to help us understand consumer/stakeholder thinking. It deepens our understanding of our stakeholders, so we can better cater for their needs.
My adapted empathy map includes things that are seen and hidden, influences and actions. What we are often able to see is what someone says and what they do. What is often hidden is what someone thinks and what they feel. The level of trust in the relationship will usually be the catalyst for helping us see what is hidden as the person chooses to reveal it to us. There are a bunch of influences that also come into play with the actions that are either seen or hidden. These influences may be spoken or unspoken, clear or unclear, however they can heavily influence the actions taken.
Having a good understanding of all of these areas for your stakeholder will help you to be more empathetic as you deepen your understanding of them.
Here are 5 ways to show empathy in leadership
1. Empathy Mapping
Try out empathy mapping, using the template above. What is your team member saying and doing? What might they be thinking and feeling? What might be influencing what they say, do, think, and feel?
2. Ask more questions
As a leader, it’s tempting to share what we know first rather than asking questions first. Sharing what we know, doesn’t deepen our understanding. It will just validate what we know or highlight what we don’t. Asking more questions, moves us into deeper understanding. Be curious, and genuinely seek to understand.
3. Ask good quality questions
Asking more questions is important. Asking good quality questions is even more important. Your questions should be considered, open ended and not patronising. Ask questions that invite discussion. This will demonstrate empathy and also care.
4. Take time to really understand issues
Leadership takes time. If you are a leader – it is the main event. It should not be something you do when you have time. When you are interacting with your team (and anyone really), give them your undivided time and attention. If they are willing to share something with you, honour the vulnerability that comes with that. This is key to developing your empathy.
5. Take a perspective walk
When we see an issue from various angles it provides different perspectives. What we thought about something, can take on a different interpretation and meaning. It’s harder to see these different interpretations, unless we metaphorically take a perspective walk around the issue.
Focusing on empathy in leadership will help you to build better quality relationships with your team, and increase trust, connection and engagement.
For more on empathy in leadership – check out the Leader as Coach program.
Rita Cincotta coaches, facilitates and speaks on individual and team performance, leadership development and ways of working. She works with organisations to develop human centred solutions that help people and businesses to thrive.
