In any team, challenges can arise, especially when dealing with a team member who struggles with communication and exhibits rude behaviour. For deliberate leaders—those who lead with intentionality, clarity, and purpose—it’s essential to approach these situations thoughtfully to maintain a healthy and productive team environment. You may not be able to change someone’s behaviour, but as a deliberate leader what you can do is help to support all members of the team.   

Here are five key strategies for deliberate leaders to consider: 

🚀 Understand the Root Cause 

Deliberate leaders take the time to understand the underlying issues that may be causing a team member’s difficult behaviour. Is the rudeness a result of personal stress, lack of skills, or perhaps a misunderstanding of expectations? By identifying the root cause, you can address the issue more effectively and with empathy. 

Action Step: Schedule a one-on-one meeting with the team member to discuss their behaviour. Ask open-ended questions to uncover any underlying issues they may be facing.  Be prepared to share examples so the person can better understand the context of the feedback. 

🚀 Set Clear Expectations 

Often, difficult behaviour stems from a lack of clarity around what is expected. Deliberate leaders excel in setting and communicating clear, specific expectations for behaviour, communication, and teamwork. This reduces ambiguity and helps the team member understand the standards they need to meet. 

Action Step: Clearly outline what acceptable behaviour looks like in your team. Provide examples of both positive and negative behaviours, and ensure that these expectations are documented and shared with the entire team. Consider your organisational values and any competency frameworks that exist.   

🚀 Foster Open Communication 

A deliberate leader knows that communication is a two-way street. Creating an environment where open, honest communication is encouraged can help mitigate misunderstandings and reduce tension. This includes giving the team member opportunities to express their concerns and ensuring that they feel heard. 

Action Step: Implement regular check-ins where team members can voice their concerns. Use these sessions to provide constructive feedback and reinforce positive behaviours. 

🚀 Model the Behaviour You Expect 

Deliberate leadership is about leading by example. There is little that is more frustrating than a hypocritical leader.  If you want your team members to communicate respectfully and collaborate effectively, you must model these behaviours yourself. This sets a standard for the entire team and encourages the difficult team member to align with these values. 

Action Step: Reflect on your own communication style and behaviour. Ensure that you are demonstrating the respect, patience, and professionalism you expect from your team. 

🚀 Implement Consequences and Support 

While it’s essential to approach difficult behaviour with understanding and empathy, deliberate leaders also recognize when it’s necessary to enforce consequences. This could range from additional coaching to formal disciplinary actions. Balancing support with accountability is key to fostering a deliberate and cohesive team. 

Action Step: Develop a clear action plan that includes both support measures (like additional training) and consequences for continued poor behaviour. Communicate this plan to the team member and follow through consistently. 

🚀 Build a Culture of Deliberate Teams 

Ultimately, a deliberate leader aims to build a culture where each team member understands their role in contributing to the team’s success. This involves continuous development, team-building activities, and fostering a sense of ownership among all members. 

Action Step: Regularly engage the entire team in workshops or training sessions focused on communication, collaboration, and emotional intelligence. Celebrate successes and deliberate efforts to improve, reinforcing the desired culture. 

By approaching difficult team members with intentionality and a clear strategy, deliberate leaders can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and strengthen the overall team dynamic. 

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