Self awareness is a good thing in leadership right? 

Yes.  And it can be challenging.  What if we become aware of something about ourselves that makes us feel uncomfortable or embarrassed? 

Being more self-aware is like observing yourself in the moment and being in the moment.  Imagine if you could float up above yourself a few feet as you were having an interaction with someone.  You could observe and be in the interaction simultaneously.  Sounds like a superpower, and it is, the superpower of self-awareness.   

Deliberate leaders are self aware.  They understand that self-awareness is fundamental to emotional intelligence.  In researching self-awareness, I like this perspective.  Self-awareness is an inwardly focused evaluative process in which individuals make self/standard comparisons with the goal of better self-knowledge and improvement.  Inward focus is about looking in and considering the outwardly impact of our behaviour. What’s the impact of my behaviour?  It is creating the impact I want?  How am I impacting others? Better self-knowledge and improvement are about a deeper understanding of self.  Knowing how I react, respond, and then behave.  Making choices about the circumstances I expose myself to and understanding the consequences of those choices.  Making choices that are better for me, and that limit impact on others, while leaving me in a positive mental state.  Self-awareness is about looking inwards, assessing self, and improving to elevate impact.   

Self -Awareness in Leadership 

My aim is to help leaders be more self-aware.  Why?  I love working with leaders and I love leading.    I am grateful to have had the opportunity to lead.  The constant spotlight of leadership can be like a growth tonic.  If subject to the right conditions, you grow.  You are constantly adapting, evolving, responding, reacting, and planning for the circumstances you and those you lead find themselves in. It is not always comfortable under the spotlight.  It can get hot under the searing light sometimes, impacting the decisions you might make, how you might make them, and the impact of these decisions on others.   Growth can be uncomfortable too.  It can hurt.  My kids have complained about growing pains over the years, and there is a valid reason.  As we grow, things stretch, bones and muscles move.  Our body’s scaffolding is trying to accommodate the expansion, the movement, and the reality of growth.  By the time we grow into the leader we aspire to be, and we have done the growing part, it’s time to grow in a new direction.   Our growth doesn’t stop, and it doesn’t even pause. It evolves.   

Self -awareness allows us to better understand what we need to facilitate growth.  What do we need to make it more comfortable, easier, smoother, and more enjoyable?  Is it better communication?  A focus on trust in our relationships?  More attentiveness to our strategy and how to execute it?  An understanding of our leadership style?  Greater self-awareness will help you to be a more deliberate leader.     

How do we become more deliberately self- aware? 

1. Create trust in your relationships 

Trust facilitates feedback.  Feedback is unlikely to be given to you without trust.  Start here.  Be deliberate about building your reputation, credibility, and connection with your team. 

2. Encourage feedback 

“Can I give you some feedback?”  is not often followed by something positive.  But the more we do it, and the more we balance providing both positive and constructive feedback, the more others will do this too.  Also, get a new line!  Rather than “Can I give you some feedback?”, develop another way to signal that you want to provide feedback.  “I wanted to let you know that…”. “The other day when you did…, it was so well received.”  “I think you may have caused a ripple with… how could you have handled that differently?” 

3. Acknowledge feedback 

You don’t have to take on every bit of feedback you receive, but at the very least, you do need to acknowledge it.  Thank you for taking the time to give me that feedback, is all you need to say.  Acknowledging it makes it more likely that you will receive feedback again in the future, as it has not been ignored. 

4. Have a daily check in with yourself 

This is a reflective check in where you think about your interactions and behaviour during the day. 

• Did I act in accordance with my personal values today? 
• If not, why not? 
• Do I need to have a follow up conversation with anyone? 
• When will I do this? 
• What am I most proud of today? 
• What did I learn about myself today? 

5. Focus on your strengths 

The path to greater self-awareness is not only about picking at all your faults and gaps.  It’s about recognising and leveraging your strengths too.  More time spent here, means more focus in these areas, and we tend to prefer doing what we are good at.  Understand how your strengths support others too.  This will make you a more deliberate leader. 

Deliberate leaders are more self-aware because they know that growth and evolution come from reflection. This makes them a better leader for their team and organisations, greatly benefiting the communities they serve.

Rita Cincotta writes, mentors, and speaks about deliberate leadership.  She works with organisations to develop better leaders that support people and businesses to thrive.  You can download Rita’s new whitepaper, Deliberate Leadership here.