In a coaching relationship, a focus or goal is identified, and the coach and coachee work together to overcome the challenge or problem. Trust is crucial — without it, the coachee may be unwilling to be challenged by the coach. The coach may not be prepared to provoke or challenge the mindsets and views held by the coachee. Communication could be impacted if either person holds back from being open and expressive.
I like this definition from the company, Core Strengths. Trust in a coaching relationship is ‘… a belief in the reliability, competence, honesty, integrity, and positive intentions of your coach or coachee and the freedom to be real and vulnerable with your coach or coachee without being judged.’
How to build trust as a coach
This section explores how you can build trust as a coach.
If you are a leader wondering whether your team trusts you, the research says you may well need to be concerned. In a 2023 global survey of more than 15,000 respondents, only 46% said they trust their manager to do what is right and only 32% trust senior leaders to do what is right.
These statistics are highly disconcerting given that trust is the basis of any relationship, including the employment relationship, and we know that employees perform better when they trust their leaders.
The trust triangle
In 2020, Frances Frei and Anne Morriss developed the Trust Triangle as they worked with Uber to get the company back on track. iii Frei and Morriss say trust is built on three key components: logic, authenticity and empathy. (These apply to leaders who want to lead deliberately by incorporating coaching.) They believe that any time trust is lost or impacted, it can be traced back to one of three components.
Logic: I know you can do it; your reasoning and judgment are sound.
Authenticity: I experience the real you.
Empathy: I believe you care about me and my success.
Here’s how this applies from the perspective of the coach (leader) and coachee (team member).
| The Trust Triangle | Coach’s perspective | Coachee’s perspective |
| Logic: I know you can do it; your reasoning and judgment are sound. | I believe in your ability. Your idea has been explored and makes sense. | I trust your expertise because what you are asking or saying makes sense. |
| Authenticity: I experience the real you. | I can support you with your real issues and help you develop greater self-awareness. I appreciate the real you. | I can be myself. You create an environment where I don’t feel judged or shamed. This enables me to be open with you. |
| Empathy: I believe you care about me and my success. | I commit to understanding your situation by being curious and seeking to understand your point of view without judgment. | I feel that you are interested in me and my success. It feels like you care when you ask questions and develop genuine understanding. |
There may be times when the coach or coachee’s perspective is not as positive as these examples. If this occurs, there is likely an issue with one, two or even all three of the trust triangle components. Even one component can impact trust, likely hurting the relationship. The slightest dint in trust makes it challenging to work with someone and communicate freely and openly with that person. If this occurs, it must be addressed.
Unlike a usual coach/coachee relationship, where you can more easily part ways, it is not as straightforward in an employment relationship. With so much at stake, there are even greater reasons to repair and rebuild the trust. Leaving it won’t address it. In fact, it is likely to create an even greater trust gap.